Trust, fear, and sin

Genesis 12:10-20 NASB

Now there was a famine in the land; so Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land.  It came about when he came near to Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, "See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman;  and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live.  "Please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you, and that I may live on account of you."  It came about when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful.  Pharaoh’s officials saw her and praised her to Pharaoh; and the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house.  Therefore he treated Abram well for her sake; and gave him sheep and oxen and donkeys and male and female servants and female donkeys and camels.
  But the Lord struck Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife.  Then Pharaoh called Abram and said, "What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife?  "Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife, take her and go."  Pharaoh commanded  his  men concerning him; and they escorted him away, with his wife and all that belonged to him.

My thoughts -

Abram trusted God enough to leave his family and his country behind to do the will of God. And yet, Abram feared the Egyptians enough to not trust God to protect him. I would say that he didn't trust God enough to protect him and his wife, but I am not sure how much concern he had for his wife. After all, he handed her over to a powerful man to be his wife, too.

Fear makes us do some pretty stupid things. Adam and Eve were afraid in the garden and so, rather than turn to God and confess their sins and repent they hid from God, were eventually found anyway, and received a curse. Peter was afraid after Jesus was arrested and, though he had the promise of being the "rock" upon whom the church would be built, he denied ever knowing God. Sarah was afraid that God would leave her childless and allowed Abraham to take another woman to conceive. And before that happened Abraham (Abram here) was afraid that his wife's beauty would make the Egyptians so passionately jealous they would kill him over it, and so he allowed their king to take Sarah (Sarai here) to be his wife.

It's easy for me to look at this, thousands of years removed, and judge Abram. I can say I would not do this thing. I can say I would trust God enough to not fear the Egyptians. I can say that I would love my wife enough to not hand her over. I can say I would love my integrity enough to not lie. I can say, absent any virtues here, that I am a jealous enough man that I wouldn't let another man marry my wife anyway.

I can say these things from the safety of my living room. I can say them while facing no harm. I can say them while I have no reason to fear. I can trust God when nothing is on the line. My faith is strong in my mind when it faces no challenges. I am not afraid. I have no reason to be.

Abram's fear caused him to sin. That sin brought plagues down on the Egyptians. Peter's fear caused him to deny Christ and then to face all of the doubt, confusion, uncertainty, and shame that came with it. Sarah's fear caused her to give her husband to another woman and set up all kinds of strife for her and her family. Adam and Eve's fear came from their sin but also expanded the distance between them and God that their sin created.

But do we have reason to fear? It is easy to say no. It is easy to say that we can trust God completely. It is easy to say that there is nothing that the world can dish out that its Creator can not handle.

But can we do that while facing hardship, persecution, and death? Can we trust God when we really do have something to lose? I can sit in my living room and judge the heroes of our faith for their shortcomings in the same way that I can judge the NBA player on TV for missing a game winning shot or the NFL quarterback for throwing a drive crippling interception. I am comfortable here. And I have the delusion in my comfort that I could do better.

Abram left everything to follow God. And he made more than a few mistakes along the way. He was human. He had fear. He trusted God but not completely. Has anyone?

God tells us not to be afraid. Pretty much every time you see God send a messenger in the Old Testament the first words out of the messenger's mouth are "do not be afraid". I think there's a pretty good reason for that. We are human. No matter how much we like to think otherwise we can't help but notice that we are mortal. We have a lot to lose. And we are afraid. And that fear causes us to do, at times, some rather unthinkable things. This has always been so.

And, as much as I'd like to think otherwise I am no exception to this.