As the weather has turned a bit cooler the last couple of days I am reminded that Autumn is coming and I can't help but look back to this time last year. In late September/early October of last year a started a little personal improvement project. I was overweight, depressed, and crippled with anxiety and doubt. My world was spinning out of control and I knew I had to do something different.
Shannon had this crazy idea that we needed a treadmill. I was against it at first. I thought it was a waste of money. I thought we'd never use it. I thought it would just sit in the living room and eventually become something of a clothes rack. We bought it anyway. And I used it. I started off pretty slow. I think the first run was a half mile before I decided I'd rather die than continue. Slowly I built up speed and endurance. By Thanksgiving I was to the point where I could run the 3 miles from my house to my parents' house. In fact, I did so for Thanksgiving dinner. I was gassed at the end but felt good about the accomplishment. I ran on the treadmill throughout the Winter and then once Spring came I started running outside again.
Over the next few months I progressed from running 3 miles to running 10. By May I was able to run 10 miles in about an hour and a half. I had gone in that time from 220lbs with a 38in waist to 180lbs with a 33in waist. I was literally in the best shape of my life. But my knees and feet would ache for days every time I ran. So in May my brother and his wife decided that I should take up biking instead and even gave me a bike.
I started commuting to work on bike right away (Mansfield had been on me for quite a while to do so, anyway) and also riding more for exercise on the weekends. I've gone in that time from biking a few times a week for a total of about 30-40 miles to biking every day for about 20-25 miles a day. Again feeling great, both about myself and about not using as much gas. (I drive on Thursdays and Sundays to church and that's about it.)
But the physical changes are only a part of the story. I've been in the church pretty much all of my life. I have believed in God from about the time I was able to have any kind of concept of the Divine. Those beliefs have changed some over the years. They have evolved a bit. But my Spiritual life had been kind of stuck on idle for a few years. I didn't have any kind of regular prayer and devotional life. I had become frustrated with life, frustrated with myself, bitter, angry, confused, unhappy, and generally a bit of a pill to be around. So about the time I started working on physical self-improvement I decided to make a concerted effort to work on Spiritual self-improvement.
The only time I had to run was in the morning before work. I would wake up early and, depending on the weather, either get on the treadmill or head outside for a run. I noticed that running had a very quieting affect on my mind. All of the voices swirling around telling me everything that was wrong with me, everything I had to be worried about, everything I had to be stressed about, they all seemed to stop during that time. My head was clear. I decided that if I could get up early and run and clear my mind I could get up even earlier and use the run as a way to prepare myself for prayer and Bible study.
I began setting aside about an hour each morning as devotional time. I was very intentional about it. I set up a routine. I tried not to miss any days. I tried to not only read the Bible but to prayerfully consider what I was reading and to see what changes in my life Scripture demanded. I tried to consider more what following the example of Christ looks like in my daily life.
So, how's that going? Quite well. It's a process. I am not perfect. I still struggle at times with anger. I still expect more out of others in my life than I do myself and still have a tendency to blame others for my own failings. I'm still far too good at being judgmental and not nearly good enough at loving my neighbor. I know my faults. I'm working on them. I have become, over the last year, a much better father, husband, and person than I was before. I'm much happier and have a much better outlook on life. I hate my job less and generally try to do it better. I shouldn't be surprised, really, that an effort to live a life more in line with the will of that which created and sustains all life has yielded a much more fulfilling life.
Hopefully this time next year I can look back and smile at how much better things have gotten over the year that passed.
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