Contradictions held in tension

Yes I heard the news. Of course I did. Who could miss it? Osama bin Laden is dead.

My wife woke me up in the middle of the night with the news. I get up at 4:30 each morning to do devotional reading that has given birth to this blog. I have to get up that early in order to do them before I have to go to work. I have discovered that morning is really the only time I can consistently commit to devotion, but rising that early has consequences, among which is that I have to go to bed pretty early. So I heard the news from just this side of a deep sleep. As such I was confused and wasn't even sure if I was awake or if this was a dream. I didn't know how to react.

Some rejoice. Others, I'm sure, mourn. Some, like me, are conflicted. Like so many things this is a situation that is fraught with tension.

This I believe: Osama bin Laden was, if not the embodiment of evil, certainly an embodiment of evil. He was a murderous monster. He was deserving of death and in his death justice was served.

This I also believe: Osama bin Laden was carefully and wonderfully made in the image of a loving, perfect God.

There is tension there. To reduce bin Laden to the evil acts he committed is to deny his humanness. To affirm that he was made in the image of God no less than I was is to place myself in the same category as an undeniable monster.

So I wonder, does God do bad work? Was bin Laden a mistake? Am I? We have all fallen. We are all sinners. Romans 3:23 tells us that. We all need grace.

This I believe: God does not rejoice in the death of sinners. Ezekiel 33:11 tells us that God does not. ("‘As I live!’ declares the Lord God, ‘I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live.'".)

Does this mean that I am as bad as Osama bin Laden was? Am I not bad enough? By my nature I rebel and sin against God constantly. I can not save myself. I need Jesus.

This morning's post was from Jonah. It had me wondering this, so bear with me. If bin Laden had repented, would we have accepted that.

I ask this because of Jonah's actions. Jonah deliberately disobeyed God. He sinned against God by refusing to do God's will and as such found himself facing death. He was drowning. While facing the consequences (death) for his actions (sin) he called out to God for help and was rescued. He was redeemed and restored to God and was sent to accomplish God's purpose.

Jonah was a prophetic witness to the awesome power of God and doing God's will enabled him to save the lives of 120,000 people who would have otherwise perished in their sin the same way that Jonah nearly did.

This was a great thing. This was a wonderful thing. People who deserved death were given life instead. They turned from their sin, they embraced God, and they were saved. But this wonderful thing did not please Jonah. Jonah believed, even rightfully so, that they deserved death. They were deplorable people. Sinners of the worst sort. The kind of people the world would be better off without.

So all of this has me wondering: If we were a prophetic witness to Osama bin Laden, and he repented, turned from his evil ways, turned to God, and made reparations for all of the vile things in this life, how would we react? Accepting of course that this never happened and now never will, would we be able to extend grace? Would we rejoice in this sinner being saved? Or would we, like Jonah did, still desire death and destruction? Does it inform our reaction that God saved Nineveh over Jonah's objections? Would we allow that God can redeem over our objections?

So I wonder. I'm conflicted. I'm confused. On the one hand justice has been served. An evil man has gotten what was coming to him. While all evil has not been wiped out by this action it's hard to argue against that some evil has. And that evil was not inconsequential.

On the other hand a human, wonderfully and lovingly made in the image of God has died, and died outside of a restored relationship with God. This is a horrible, tragic thing. I can think of nothing worse than this. I can not celebrate it.