So when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you." And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side. The disciples then rejoiced when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you." And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. "If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained."
But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples were saying to him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe."
After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you." Then He said to Thomas, "Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing." Thomas answered and said to Him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed."
My thoughts -
Maybe it's the name. I guess that could be it. Maybe it's the name. Maybe that's why I identify so easily with Thomas.
Jesus came back and Thomas missed it. Poor guy. Everyone else was there. Everyone else saw him. But not Thomas. Thomas was off doing something else. What was he doing? That isn't written here. It wasn't important. Whatever Thomas was doing when the other disciples received the Holy Spirit from their risen Lord, wherever Thomas was instead, that information has been lost in time. It wasn't important enough to remember. One wonders if Thomas, after all of this happened, even remembered.
Where were you the day you didn't encounter the risen Christ? Where were you the day you didn't encounter the Lord our God in the flesh? What were you doing instead? Did it matter? Not in comparison.
Talk about an all time missed opportunity! The other disciples tell Thomas all about what he missed. Maybe it was pride. Maybe he didn't want to believe that he was off doing something else when Jesus returned. I've missed a number of wonderful things because I was off doing something else. You find out what you missed and you want to just kick yourself. You can't believe it. You want to just say "How stupid of me! I should have known better." Or you want to deny that it happened. Not the way they said it did. You couldn't have missed that. No way.
Thomas didn't want to believe he'd missed it. He didn't want to believe Jesus came back while he was off doing something else. He didn't want to believe he'd missed a once in a lifetime opportunity. So he didn't.
Thomas said there was no way. Thomas said it wasn't possible. Thomas said he didn't believe it. Thomas said he wouldn't believe it. Not unless he saw the nail holes. Not unless he saw Jesus's pierced side. There's no coming back from that. No way. And there's no way Jesus came back and Thomas missed it. Wasn't possible. It couldn't be.
How sad it would have been if Jesus left things here. How tragic. Thomas would have missed out. And not only that but he would not, could not believe what he had missed.
We call Thomas a doubter. We call him Doubting Thomas. That is what we remember him for, as though Thomas's reaction to the news that Jesus had raised from the dead and Thomas had missed it was not something any of us would have done.We have given him a bad rap. If this story ended there Thomas would be an even more pitiful person. He wouldn't be the doubter. He'd be the one who missed out.
But Jesus revealed himself to Thomas. Jesus showed Thomas everything Thomas said he would need to see in order to believe. And Thomas responds with elation, exclaiming "My Lord and my God!"
Like Thomas, I don't respond well when I find out I've missed out on something. Also like Thomas I do not believe easily. Some of what we believe sounds crazy. Grace is something too good to be true. Heaven is a fairy tale. That the Maker of the Universe cares about something so insignificant as me is a fantasy. It's all wishes and hopes and dreams. It's too good to be true. I need evidence. I need to see things with my own eyes. I need proof. God, if you're really there and you really care then you'd better show me. Jesus, if you can save me from my sins you'd better prove it to me. I'm wretched. I'm awful. If you knew half the things I've done, if you knew half the things I've thought, you'd just wipe me off this planet. I'd be like a squished bug. A spot. A stain. And then nothing.
But God is good. Jesus revealed himself to Thomas and showed him everything he needed to see to believe. And in my doubt, anguish, self loathing, and fear I call out to God and God answers my prayers. I see the power of grace working in my life and the lives of others. I see first hand the love of God bringing healing to a suffering, sick, fallen world. I feel the peace of God we find only in Christ and a calm warmth fills me. I may not see the face of God. I may not see Jesus in the flesh. But I see enough. I see just enough to believe.
And like Thomas I am blessed for that.
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