I probably spend way too much time thinking about things. There's no sense in judging it, though. I can't stop. The nature of the universe just bugs me some times.
Honest question: Is atheism a religion? I'm not studied on the subject to have any kind of a valuable opinion. Atheism does fascinate me, though. I've never really considered a Godless universe. I can't wrap my head around the concept. Sure, a theistic approach to the universe makes a lot of assumptions but I can't come up with any kind of plausible way to explain how ANYTHING is. You have to start with something, right? Be it raw elemental materials or some kind of diety. There's really not an air tight way to come up with why and how there's a "here" here, and I've always started with God. What we mean by God is another matter altogether.
Also, I find an important aspect of Christianity to have an interesting twist to it, at least from my own experience. As Christians we are essentially asked, in following the example of Christ, to forsake the things of this life for the hope of the next. As mortals we effectively have only the guarantee of this life. Any existence after death is purely wild, hopeful, speculation. And yet we are called to not place too much stock in what we have tangibly before us. We are called to not value that which will perish (aka our stuff, standing, etc.) For that which we are told is eternal (the Kingdom of God). We do this by loving others like we do ourselves, serving others before ourselves, caring for the needs of the poor and disenfranchised, and spreading the hope and love that we have found in Jesus.
The twist? When we do this. When forsake the wants and needs of this life for what we believe to be eternal, we find more fulfillment in this life. Or at least I know that I do. I find that following the example of Christ fills me with meaning, hope, and purpose right here and right now. My life in this existence is far better.
I have no idea how eternity works. I don't think that's something we can know. I don't know why we're here. Any attempt to explain that, either with or without a creator, has it's own issues. I don't know that there's a way to "know" there's a God in the same way that we "know" that Lexington is in Kentucky or that 2 + 2 = 4 or that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. It just doesn't work that way. Or maybe it just doesn't work that way for me.
But I believe. I always have. I can't explain why. It just makes more sense to me. Believing has not steered me wrong. It has not served me ill. I sense that God has been faithful. There's so much in life that doesn't make sense. There's so much that seems so messed up. There's so much pain and suffering. But there's beauty, too. There is hope. There is love. There is redemption. I experience these things as God.
Maybe I'm delusional. Maybe I'm overly optimistic. Maybe I'm just flat out wrong. But I just can't NOT believe.
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