Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have departed from the truth. They say that the resurrection has already taken place, and they destroy the faith of some. Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”
In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for disposal of refuse. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
My thoughts -
How much time, energy, and good will do we waste getting bogged down in stupid, pointless arguments. Maybe it's just me, the son of a lawyer, but I spend a lot of my time debating some pretty worthless things. I do it in part because, as my dad says, I can't stand to see anyone not know when they're wrong. I also really like to win. Ask anyone who's ever seen me at the baseball field. Most of the time I can be a pretty mellow guy but drop me into something competitive and see what happens. It can get pretty intense. And ugly, too. So can our arguments about our faith. I guess we could call them "competitive conversations". I wonder how many of these we have to refine our theology and advance the kingdom of God and how many we have because people like me just want to win.
So what does Paul have to say about this? He tells Timothy that "quarreling about words" is of "no value" and "only ruins those who listen". That's pretty harsh. What, exactly, Paul is referring to as "quarreling about words" I do not know. Clearly he was not against disputing theology that he found to be "false gospel". He also uses this letter to point out those who have advanced a theology that he finds to be "ungodly". He points out to Timothy the teachings of Hymenaeus and Philetus and laments that they "will spread like gangrene". Paul is not using his "nice words" here. But this is also a letter to Timothy and not a public rebuking. How Paul handled them publicly or in person, if at all, I do not know. Like in all things there are good and bad ways to handle conflict.
So what are we to do? Paul tells Timothy that we are to "cleanse ourselves" of things that are not of "noble purposes". Look again at this passage starting with verse 22:
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.So is my desire to win an "evil desire of youth". I'm afraid it is. It is, at the very least, not particularly gentle nor does it seem to lead anyone towards "knowledge of the truth". I have yet to really make anyone "come to their senses". Mostly I just make them frustrated and ultimately not want to talk to me.
Obviously we can discuss theology. We can even disagree. We can call out people who we feel are wrong and even correct them. But this must be done gently and in love. And it should probably be done only when it is something really important and not for every little thing. It must be done to advance the Kingdom of God and not our own selfish agenda. It must not be done to placate our desire to "win". I have been told that no one really "wins" a fight. This is true for verbal altercations as well as physical ones.
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